Friday, May 6, 2011

The Power to say....NO!

Like many folks out there, (most of whom I think are women), I have difficulty saying no to things and people.  As a result I am often doing too many things, some of which I really don't want to do, have no desire to do,  or even resent doing them.  As I have gotten older I have gotten better at setting boundaries but still can be a pushover depending on the situation.
I have a colleague who is very good at saying no with out saying no.  He delegates, or says when he can get too it, of course always on his time and not the askers.  Very seldom have I seen him come out of the gate with a firm no on his tongue.  I need to learn a bit more from him this technique.  Anyways this long preamble is the segue to my shopping trip today.  I did a lot of errands today, one of which was to stop in at the fabric store and get materials for a new dress, outdoor cushions for the front deck and fabric for a new quilt top.  I had everything cut, went and got in line at the till with my 20" stack of fabric knowing I would have to be waiting a bit cause there were 4 people ahead of me.  As I stood there, this woman came up and stood beside me, and began talking abut how awful it was that she had to pay for the lace trim in her hand that measured 10 cm.  I mean she was really upset about it.  I don't know what world she lives in but no business gives their product away, you always will pay something, even if its only a few pennies.  In her next breathe, she asks me if she can go in front of me in line, all she has it this little bit.  I looked at her, said, "MMMM, no."  Now the surprise here is that I consciously and coherently said no, meant it and followed through.  Normally my response in this situation would have been to say, "yah, sure." even if I really didn't want to, but today I must be particularly ornery.  Anyways the story continues, the wanna be line butters friend comes up to her, (remember I am a foot away from her)and line butter tells her that she had asked to move up in the queue but was refused, how awful...etc.  The friend starts to say, who?  and I pipe up, " It was me that she asked and as is my choice to refuse or grant her request.  Now the friend looks like a fish out of water.. At this point the second till opens up and they move to the other line, still making it out of the store ahead of me, so I actually did her a favor in saying no, but I don't think she think so...
My accomplishment for today is that I got the binding sewn down on my Valentines Runner.  Yeah I know a bit late, but considering I just got it back from the quilter, pretty good progress. 

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